When parents go through a divorce or custody dispute, one of the most pressing questions is whether a child can choose which parent to live with. In Washington State, the court’s primary concern in custody matters is the best interests of the child—but does that include the child’s own preference?

Does a Child’s Preference Matter in Custody Cases?

Washington courts do consider a child’s wishes, but their preference is not the sole determining factor. Instead, the court evaluates several factors to determine what is in the child’s best interests. If a child is old enough and mature enough to express a reasonable preference, the court may take their opinion into account. However, the judge will also weigh other factors, such as:

  • Each parent’s ability to provide a stable home environment
  • The child’s emotional and physical needs
  • The child’s relationship with each parent
  • The parents’ willingness to cooperate in parenting
  • Any history of abuse, neglect, or domestic violence

At What Age Can a Child Have a Say?

There is no specific age at which a child can legally decide where they want to live. However, Washington courts generally give more weight to the opinions of older, more mature children, typically around age 12 and up. Younger children’s preferences may still be considered, but the court will carefully assess whether their choice is truly in their best interests or influenced by external factors.

Can a Teenager Choose to Live with One Parent?

While a teenager’s preference may carry significant weight, they cannot make a final decision on their own. Even if a 16- or 17-year-old expresses a strong desire to live with one parent, the court will still review all factors before modifying a custody arrangement. If there are no serious concerns (such as neglect or abuse), the court may honor the teen’s wishes, but it is not guaranteed.

How Can a Child’s Wishes Be Presented to the Court?

A child does not typically testify in open court about their preference. Instead, their opinion may be communicated through:

  • A Guardian ad Litem (GAL) or court-appointed special advocate who represents the child’s best interests
  • A child custody evaluator who interviews the child and both parents
  • A private interview with the judge in chambers, away from the courtroom setting

Can a Child Refuse to See One Parent?

If a child refuses to visit one parent, the court will investigate the reason behind it. If the refusal stems from abuse, neglect, or another serious issue, the court may take steps to protect the child. However, if the child simply prefers one parent over the other, they are generally still required to follow the custody order. Parents who interfere with visitation or encourage refusal may face legal consequences.

Modifying a Child Custody Order Based on a Child’s Preference

If a child’s preference has changed over time, a parent can request a modification of the custody arrangement. However, the parent must show a substantial change in circumstances that justifies the modification. The court will review all relevant factors before making a decision.

Consult a Family Law Attorney for Custody Matters

Child custody cases can be complex, and every situation is unique. If you have questions about how your child’s preferences may impact your custody arrangement, the Law Office of Erin Bradley McAleer is here to help. Our experienced family law attorneys can guide you through the legal process and advocate for your parental rights. Call us today at (360) 334-6277 to schedule a consultation!